Let's recap!
In order for me to be consistent and not turn to unhealthy, familiar, habits, I must remember what is good, healthy, and life-giving. I am like what I am around; I am like who I am with! The more encouraging, healthy people I have around, that is what I will become like, and the opposite of that statement is true too, that is why it is crucial that I develop and cultivate what I have learned.
Let's recap!
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I have found that learning the "real" characteristics of love will not only keep me on the path of humility, but it will keep me aligned so I don't steer off into the ditches and dead ends of my old, unhealthy, behaviors. In order for me to even know how to avoid these detours and dead ends, I must make sure I'm "always" updating the map and directions I am following.
My amazing and hilarious friends Robert and Joe would probably laugh at me, because even when they would give me a map or write out directions for me, I would still get lost, that is why it is important that I have healthy people around me who have been where I am going. In order for me to know how to have healthy relationships, I must first know the traits of love, so I don't mistake detours and dead ends as being love. Growing up there were two significant experiences in my childhood that shaped my view of men, and how I interact with them. I didn't realize that these particular situations deeply affected how I perceive myself and others. I was always known for being an observant child, and it was a great thing, until it exposed something deeply hidden in others...
I have always been known to love too much, love too many, have a one-track mind, and be loyal to these ideas. It's crazy, because I was born with two heightened strengths, repetition and association. I love to put songs on repeat and hear new things I haven't heard before, but just to be honest, I love the repetitive nature of music. There is a pattern even if the music veers from its usual progression, and I love finding that! I repeat stories, memories, what I love, and what I don't like over and over again to friends, strangers, whoever will listen.
My mother told me that when I was younger (3-4yrs old), she missed a train we were supposed to catch, and she said, "Drat!" When I was riding with her in the car the next week or so, I saw a train, and I said, "Look Mommy, Drat!" Perhaps that is where the association started, but nonetheless, repetition and association have been in me since I was little. There is no problem with repetition and association being my strengths; however, unhealthy ideas and experiences triggering these strengths is a problem, so I definitely had to get to the root, because it didn't matter if something was good, bad, or just down right ugly, repetition and association kicked in. Now here is my second Helen Keller experience which is just as amazing as the first, but before both of them, there was lots of torture, intimidation, and a chain of unhealthy ideas and experiences. I didn't realize how much learning how to swim can be likened to learning how to love. You can be taught the wrong way your whole life and never know it, or you can think you know how, and be petrified of it. Even worse, you can pull others under with you or even hurt yourself based on the way you were taught how to swim.
Everyone knows that I am inspired by Patti LaBelle and Chris Martin, but if you didn't know it, Corinne Bailey Rae is my girl, and she inspires me with her life and just her genuine drive to be herself and get others to grasp and feel her passion that surges from her beauty!
Engage in the process of love, though it is a tightly woven tapestry of emotions and feelings that bring a paradox of both pain and healing. -Barikasmiles
You've caught my attention in such a stealth and familiar way.
I am listening to every word you say. I listen so closely I even hear you sigh and whisper. Engaging, so engaging! You're words move like the ebb and flow of the dawn's tide. I look up and you are gauging my every move, but my eyes you cannot read, because they are such a mystery. Your tide has swept me away; it is brisk, but gentle as sunset's rays. Engaging, so engaging! I am enamored by your resilience. Even in the silence and stillness, I sense your brilliance... ...radiant as a sunrise. You are the mystery I breathed in! I am listening; your songs clothe me. Your voice awakens me! Sing over me, sing! |
“I am the most curious of all to see what will be the next thing that I will do.”
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